7 Steps to Cultivating Self-Confidence

Jun 16, 2017 | Kaitlyn Matousek

Self confidence

We all know those people, the ones who walk into a room with such confidence and grace that people stop and stare, the ones who seemingly always have their lives together and a radiant smile stretching from ear to ear.

These people aren't necessarily the most talented or the most beautiful, or whatever other superlative you want to assign here. They are, however, insanely confident in themselves, and their ability to accomplish their goals.

When we are children we are taught how to look both ways before crossing the street, are told to always say please and thank you, and taught the value of hard work. It feels like the lesson about self-love gets lost in the shuffle.

Being content with ourselves sometimes seems like the connective tissue to every other accomplishment in life. And maybe some people are born with that innate sense of self, but my guess is most people have to work at it, day after day. I’ve noticed patterns in people who seem to have it down.

Consider the list below as your rubric to forming a better relationship with yourself, which is arguably the most important relationship you will ever be in. 

1. Embrace imperfection
It might sound cliche, but accepting yourself really is the first step to self-confidence. We all have our insecurities, but there should be no pressure to be perfect.

2. Quit using social media as a comparison tool
I know this can be hard, we are bombarded with social media everywhere we look. It’s important to realize that social media isn’t the entire reality, it's just a snip of someone’s life they wanted to portray.

3. Spend time appreciating all the things your body does for you
You might not be at your ideal weight, but until you get there, don’t shame your body. Your legs support you every day, your heart never stops pumping blood and your brain allows you to be creative. Focus your love for your body on how strong it is and all the things it does for you.

Once you have steps 1-3 down, the rest of these steps will help you polish that confident energy that you've noticed in other people.

4. Be mindful of your body language 
Having good body posture by not slouching or crossing your arms, will make you seem like a more open approachable person. You will radiate confidence if you make lots of eye contact and smile when talking to someone.

5. Take a genuine interest in other people
Being a confident person isn't just about yourself. It's also about how to interact confidently with the world. When you are in a conversation put down your phone and be an active listener by asking interesting questions or make insightful comments. That will give others great confidence in you.

6. Practice gratitude
At the end of the day reflect on things that you enjoyed and the people you are grateful for in your life. Thinking positively is scientifically proven to make you happier.

7. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
It can be scary opening up to others or opening up to ourselves. Bonds are created when you can trust others and yourself. The more honest we can be with ourselves and others the more confident we become.

Change isn't always easy, but self-confidence and determination are key stepping stones to happiness and success.

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